Feeling "High"

So the doctor looks at me and - with a straight face, this guy - goes, "You have the neck of a 50-year old man."

He then proceeds to hand me a series of prescriptions. One of them is a whole packet of information - an "introductory" packet, if you will. Listed among the side effects... well, here's the quote:

Some of the most common side effects of [the drug provided] are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, blurred vision, dry mouth, feeling "high," swelling of the hands and...

...
- wait -

feeling "high"

Side effect? Well... you know. Yes, please. Seriously, that's what this thing says!

So I ask the pharmacist exactly what they mean by that, and she seems bemused and doesn't look directly at me as she says, "Well... you know, like a feeling of... euphoria."

Shit. Yes, please.

I mean, what? Give me exactly that. You know what I'm saying?

But she proceeds to tell me that most of the people for whom she has filled this prescription actually complain of depression. The pain medicine they give me makes me bounce off the frigging walls, but so goggly-eyed that I can hardly do anything, aside from lie around - nothing productive, at any rate. She said this may balance that out.

I will also be going to a premium pain management clinic-thingy, where I will not only be getting medication, but the full spa treatment: hot stone therapy, massage therapy, physical therapy (those torturous exercises which, regrettable as it is to say, do help) - the whole nine.

It means I will be away more often, but when I am able to work, I will feel much better and be more productive, so there should actually be an increase in both quantity and quality throughout the site. At least, that's the hope.

Anyway, I may be feeling "high" here at first, and until I get used to it, you know - send girls. I mean, I am going to relax and... be fuckedup get used to it. But between tonight and tomorrow, we'll get back to usual.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008