Ah, being an "artist." I mean a "real" one... it's not the whole tortured Wonderful most people think it is. And even that is clichéd, but it's really true, so I guess that's how it became a cliché.
I sit around here, waiting to see how many checks are going to bounce, with something like five cigarettes to my name, absolutely no cash on hand, waiting for my car title to come back from the DMV so I can get a loan against it. Originally the loan was to pay for the lawyer, but now the whole thing (or very damn close to it) is going to have to bail me out of merrily bouncing checks.
It's a real shame that as little as $20 worth of checks become $200 worth of fees and what-not. But what can you do?
I went Monday to get a loan against my title and they told me they couldn't do it because - wait for it (you'll absolutely love this one): the name on the title didn't match the name on my driver's license.
The name on the title was CHRISTOPHE.
That's right: my title was made out to me in the days before they added the 11th letter. Now that computers have come such a looooong way (I got the car last year), I end up paying for the whole mess because the DMV decided to shave a few dollars off their budget and wait to upgrade for like ten years or so.
Of course, had I not been held for seven days on a 12-hour charge (that's DECATUR COUNTY, TN - just in case you've missed any installments of the ongoing downward spiral what is this artist's current life), none of this would be happening.
And, I could mention, at least one or two sponsors who keep changing the days on which they pay "on a weekly basis." (That's in quotes because they keep changing that, too.) But I won't. I won't mention that.
And I know I've been saying how I would still have sex with several starlets of varying degrees of celebrity a lot lately - and I would/will - but... given my current financial state, I'm afraid I'm going to have to, you know, charge a little.
Just a little! I mean, just enough to get by on, you know?
I mean over and above the amount I steal from their purses for gas.
Wha-at?!
It's not like I'd feel right asking for it! I don't want them to think I don't respect them or anything. Damn! How would that look? I mean, you go to have sex with someone just to comfort them because their career is a hot mess and then you hit them up for gas money?
Hello? Gauche.
Tsk!
I sit around here, waiting to see how many checks are going to bounce, with something like five cigarettes to my name, absolutely no cash on hand, waiting for my car title to come back from the DMV so I can get a loan against it. Originally the loan was to pay for the lawyer, but now the whole thing (or very damn close to it) is going to have to bail me out of merrily bouncing checks.
It's a real shame that as little as $20 worth of checks become $200 worth of fees and what-not. But what can you do?
I went Monday to get a loan against my title and they told me they couldn't do it because - wait for it (you'll absolutely love this one): the name on the title didn't match the name on my driver's license.
The name on the title was CHRISTOPHE.
That's right: my title was made out to me in the days before they added the 11th letter. Now that computers have come such a looooong way (I got the car last year), I end up paying for the whole mess because the DMV decided to shave a few dollars off their budget and wait to upgrade for like ten years or so.
Of course, had I not been held for seven days on a 12-hour charge (that's DECATUR COUNTY, TN - just in case you've missed any installments of the ongoing downward spiral what is this artist's current life), none of this would be happening.
And, I could mention, at least one or two sponsors who keep changing the days on which they pay "on a weekly basis." (That's in quotes because they keep changing that, too.) But I won't. I won't mention that.
And I know I've been saying how I would still have sex with several starlets of varying degrees of celebrity a lot lately - and I would/will - but... given my current financial state, I'm afraid I'm going to have to, you know, charge a little.
Just a little! I mean, just enough to get by on, you know?
I mean over and above the amount I steal from their purses for gas.
Wha-at?!
It's not like I'd feel right asking for it! I don't want them to think I don't respect them or anything. Damn! How would that look? I mean, you go to have sex with someone just to comfort them because their career is a hot mess and then you hit them up for gas money?
Hello? Gauche.
Tsk!
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