Paris Freed, Now a Homebody

Well, she spent longer inside than any of us thought she would, but she didn't serve out her sentence, just as we all said she wouldn't.

Paris Hilton has been released from jail and ordered to wear an ankle bracelet (around her waist) for 40 days. Paris will be under house arrest and will be "under supervision." Reports said that Paris had been crying on the phone, could not eat, could not sleep, and that other inmates were chanting her name when she was let out for her hour free the other day.

Reports indicate that her release has to do with a "medical condition." A reporter on Headline News said - with a straight face - that it may have been a rash, but it definitely had to do with "mental" issues. I think we can all agree Paris Hilton has mental issues; for one, she's a bonafide sociopath. Also from that network comes the report that she has already ordered cupcakes delivered to her home. Guess that eating thing's back in check, huh?

As far as the not eating goes, when exactly did Paris start eating? As...

You know, it's just too easy. I honestly felt sorry for her when I heard how others were chanting her name and so forth, because she's not cut-out for jail, and while I would have agreed with a house arrest sentence to begin with, check this out:

She's only been in there three - 3 - days, but since she turned herself in early Sunday morning, they're counting that as one day, and since she checked herself out early this morning, they're counting that as another day!

That's right: according to the police, Paris Hilton has already spent five - 5 - days in jail!

Bullshit.