On Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things - A Review

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things is a much-vaunted, classic horror film by one of the true greats of the genre, Bob Clark (billed here as Benjamin Clark).  Best known for his comedies, Porky's and A Christmas Story, Clark also helmed some of the greatest underground horror classics of all-time.

While many layman reviewers decry this a "bad" movie, and claim it has a crawling start, neither is exactly true.  Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things is not a great film, by any means, but Clark's talent is evident at almost every level, and fans of both independent cinema and B-raters will find something (albeit different somethings) to please them.

I actually enjoyed the first half more than the latter, as Clark's true ability shines through.  The dialogue is clever and funny, the colors are stunning, the blocking is smart and fluid, and the framing and cinematography is years beyond its time.  The latter half of the movie showcases great makeup, but suffers from a number of factors, including disjointed pacing, a lack of tension, and (for whatever reason) a breakdown in the aforementioned successes.  It comes across as anticlimactic, although general viewers seem to appreciate it more than I.

Though sometimes heavy-handed, the acting is strong and the characters are interesting and well-painted.  While Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things never quite reaches the level of literary "foreshadowing," there are lots of visual queues leading up to the climax that should keep intent viewers engaged.  One image in particular stands out: That of the corpse's too-red fingernails, which seems to suggest both a lust for life and murderous intent without a word being uttered.

One of the great finds is the introduction of the camera as first-person POV -- a trick that was once attributed to John Carpenter for Halloween, but later accredited to Clark for Black Christmas (which I kind of reviewed here, and discuss this topic a bit more there). 

It is a single shot, a short sequence, which occurs early-on in the film, but cannot be mistaken for anything else.  (Some film historians point to earlier films which used a similar trick, but those films never assumed the camera was the menace, which is key in this debate.)  There can be no more question: Bob Clark "invented" the first-person camera-as-killer POV cinematic angle.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things is an admitted rip-off of Night of the Living Dead, but Clark's directorial brilliance elevates it to heights few would have imagined.  It is a mishmash of several sub-genres, including (of course) the zombie flick, as well as the Devil Flick, and a simple moral tale... but then, on that last point, aren't they all?

A few more quick notes: Evil Dead owes this movie a debt of gratitude, as do several others. Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things also features two openly gay characters who, though merely supporting and somewhat stereotypical by today's standards, seem pretty cutting-edge for the time in which this movie was made.  This is also a great transfer -- I've seen this movie before on VHS and the quality was horrible! You can tell the film was bad but, despite the flaws, it's a real treat.  Clark was working on having this movie remade at the time of his death.

There are far better films out there, but if you're a true horror fan, you owe it to yourself to see Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things.

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Illegal Alien Who Killed Bob Clark Sent to Prison

This story makes me just plain sad to report. I would say mad, but I'm not allowed to get mad. Still, it touches on just about every, single thing we have covered here as to illegal immigration, beloved movie classics, and celebrities:

The man who killed director Bob Clark and his son in a DUI-related incident on April 4^th of this year has pleaded no contest to two counts of involuntary manslaughter. At the time of the accident, his BAC was 0.24 -- three times the legal limit; California state legal limit is 0.08. But, get this, the real kicker here is that the man, one Hector Manuel Velazquez-Nava, is an illegal alien.

Through a Spanish interpreter, Mr. Velazquez-Nava pleaded for the Clark family's forgiveness.

The judge over the case was reluctant to allow the plea bargain at first, turning it back over to the judge who had originally okayed the plea agreement, Judge Hector Guzman.

Bob Clark was the director of such classics as A Christmas Story, Porky's, and Black Christmas.

Bob Clark Dead!

I'm... I'm shocked again! First the whole Richard Jeni thing, now this:

Bob Clark is dead.  The seminal director of such classics as A Christmas Story and Black Christmas, as well as the "coming-of-age" epic, Porky's, was hit and killed by an SUV on a very busy Pacific Highway.   Police are not certain, but they have reported that the driver may have been under the influence and possibly speeding.

Clark had several projects in production, including many remakes of his past classics. Last year saw the release of the remake of Black Christmas and IMDB shows that a remake of another of his horror classics, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, is/was in production.

I am not 100% certain, but one report indicated that his son, who was in the car with him, was also killed.  As far as I know, charges have not been filed against the driver of the vehicle, but I'm sure he's in custody.

Our deepest condolences go out to the Clark family and I'd personally like to thank Bob Clark for his artistic endeavors, which brightened my life as well as many others' for years -- and will continue to touch audiences for many years to come.

Black Christmas

Black Christmas

If you've been watching Lost Room (which I highly recommend, by the way -- and not just because the leads are hot, but... you know... they are), you've probably seen commercials for a "new" movie entitled Black Christmas.

This is not a new movie, as some of my long-time readers and friends know well; this is actually a remake of one of my very favorite movies, originally directed by a true film auteur, Bob Clark -- the same guy who gave us the Christmas classic, A Christmas Story, which TBS shows for 24 hours every year. He also gave us Porky's. (Just a little Bob Clark trivia, there.)

He really had range and his talent is evident by the success of those three, classic films, alone, though Clark's other flicks are cult classics in some circles, as well.  Such as Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (which is often noted by a lot of B-rater "experts," but is totally passable -- I'm a real B-rater "expert," myself, and you can easily skip Dead Things and still have a good history of the field/genre -- replace it with Basketcase, if you must).  And a host of others you've never heard of, and are honestly no worse-off for that.

The original Black Christmas is noteworthy for all sorts of reasons, aside from being just one really kick-ass flick, including Margot Kidder (Lois Lane) as a lush in a nightgown; Olivia Hussey... like... well, she's just a hottie; the phonecalls (which predate another favorite, Scream -- not to mention a literal host of other films in which similar phonecalls played the same role); and the Number One reason(s): Black Christmas originated the "killer POV" camera style (arguably), as well as the whole "horrific holiday" theme.

An Aside: As a huge B-rater horror fan, I've seen more forgettable movies than most people realize exist, and it's kind of telling how many of my favorites center around this holiday theme: Black Christmas; Silent Night, Deadly Night; April Fool's Day; My Bloody Valentine...  There was a slew of them in the early '80s, and they are all slasher flicks, but they're all really good.

This particular style of cinematography became very, very popular very, very quickly, once John Carpenter used it in the runaway hit, Halloween. It later appeared in Friday the 13^th, the spoof, Saturday the 14^th, and many more (albeit totally forgettable) movies.  It became a staple of the Slasher sub-genre.

Interestingly (perhaps not so much so, when you consider the fact that entertainment is America's greatest export and has been for years and years -- not a widely-known fact, I'm constantly reminded), Carpenter and Halloween are credited with these inventions even though Clark's Black Christmas predates it.  (The latter may only have been distributed throughout Canada on first release, although this is also arguable, since Black Christmas was also released under another title in the US, which was also the title of another US slasher flick released in the 1980s.)  Technically speaking, Black Christmas was one of, if not the, first slasher flicks and its "tricks" and approach were copied by almost every one that followed.

I don't know how well the (2006) remake will stand-up to the original, but I wouldn't expect too much.

One more Bob Clark-er:

Watch the pictures on the walls to see a cameo of the director. Usually, he is rather stern-looking at first, then smiling after the humorous climax of the scene (used in Porky's and one of his really early films whose title I can't recall -- the one with the cannibals in the diner [which was really bad but I watched it like four times in a row the first time I saw it and, to this day, I do not know why...  That may have been why, come to think of it: I couldn't figure out why I watched it more than once to begin with, so I watched it again to try and figure it out]).

UPDATED Jan., 2020

© 2006, 2020 C Harris Lynn