Molly Ringwald and the Moral Majority

Typical Hollywood Actress Reaction

If you're under 45, you're probably asking yourself, "Who the fuck is Molly Ringwald?"  

That's a fair question.  

She was an actress who appeared in almost every John Hughes movie there ever was in the far away land called "The 1980s."  A pretty redhead, she portrayed the emblematic "Princess" of those flicks -- a role she had no problem playing for a decade, and even reprised for a cameo in a terrible 2001 film -- but now (that all the checks have cleared) she finds them highly offensive.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Who the fuck is John Hughes?"  Again, fair question:

John Hughes had a stranglehold on the teen, "coming of age" films of the 1980s; from Sixteen Candles to Ferris Bueller's Day Off to what many consider to be his magnum opus, The Breakfast Club, and well beyond, Hughes managed, more often than not, to nail teenaged archetypes of the period --

That's... that's not what I mean, #MeFirstToo-ers.

But, in a scathing screed of hate speech, Ringwald lobbed every bigoted, pop-culture label her pretty little head could muster at The Breakfast Club -- the film which made her a bonafide movie star, and part of what was known as "The Brat Pack."  Not unusual for a Hollywood actress, she had no idea what she was saying, and was unlikely to have ever read the entire script (just her lines and queues) or seen the finished product before watching it with her daughter.  That her reactionary finger-wagging typified the character for which she became famous is a level of irony that can be missed only by people in Carson City and NYC.

Yes, Way Back When, there were jocks, and gearheads, and princesses, and outcasts, and nerds -- in every classroom in every public school across the nation -- and John Hughes' movies accurately captured those archetypes.  That those stereotypes still exist today is no surprise -- that's why stereotypes exist.

The overprivileged whitefolk (got to point that out, since it's problematic) of the 1980s indulged their self-inflicted ennui by wearing all black, smoking clove cigarettes, reading Interview with a Vampire, and listening to whiny, "Alternative" music like Morrissey.  They became Goths in the 1990s - 2000s, and pierced everything because they weren't old enough to become strippers.  And listened to Morrissey.  Now, they vape and dye their hair blue (if they're girls) and pink (if they're boys -- no one's sure), because it's politically incorrect to teach gradeschool-level Biology. *

Through these stereotypes, elevated to archetype in John Hughes' talking heads The Breakfast Club, teenagers of the time were forced to confront some very ugly truths about ourselves, while also seeing other stereotypes face their own.  The characters said things that we didn't have the opportunity to, much less the nerve.  And while their situations were not ours, and their behavior over the top (it's a fucking movie -- a moving picture, or motion of picture), they and their situations were relatable to our own.

That's what made John Hughes' movies so popular: They presented human teenagers and young adults as we were -- as ridiculous and politically incorrect as that is -- whereas most movies sidelined us as minor characters with overblown adolescent issues, or made us react to the situation (Back to the Future, Weird Science).  While highly stylized, John Hughes' movies presented a more realistic, in-depth character study of the teenage stereotypes to which most of us relate at that age.

Popular culture relies heavily on stereotypes, especially for shorthand, and this is never more obvious than in movies, due to the limited playing time.

John Bender -- your stereotypical, longhaired stoner -- absolutely did not "sexually harass" Claire, the hapless lass Molly Ringwald portrayed onscreen.  Nor did his onscreen antics negatively influence an entire generation of men -- or women, or transgendered people people of transgenderism the gender-impaired, or anyone else.  We were more capable of telling fact from fantasy in those days, largely due to tighter regulation on propaganda.

Not to laud my intellectual privilege, but we were just plain smarter.

Bender was wrong -- pretty much all the way around -- and he was also On Dope.  Throughout the course of the movie, we learn that he is a victim of abuse, which is why he is defiant and acts out irrationally: He craves negative attention, as it is the only attention he is accustomed to receiving.  Estevez' jock is also the victim of abuse who represses his feelings and channels his anger into athletics and bullying others.  Brian, the nerd, suffers from self-abuse (he's probably a cutter person of cutting).

Typical of abuse victims, these characters abuse themselves and others, whether they mean to or not.  They wouldn't be diagnosed as "bi-polar" until Prozac was invented -- the way Millennials weren't diagnosed as ADHD with "learning disabilities" until methamphetamine was available by prescription!

The only character who isn't completely fucked-up is Sheedy's "The Basketcase," who has isolated herself from all these self-important drama queens.  She would later be diagnosed as Off Her Meds.  That's known as "irony," and makes a point in and of itself.

But Molly Ringwald's character is an abuser, not the victim: She remains oblivious to a fault, traumatizing everyone around her through her callous behavior.  People just aren't worthy of Claire's abuse, as that would be a waste of her precious time; they are forced to prove they are worth any attention, should she so deign.  

She typifies this stereotype in Sixteen Candles, as well -- overlooking the well-meaning but goofy Ducky for the handsome hunk.  If this sounds familiar, it's because this sort of thing happens everyday -- especially to teenagers (relax, it happened to #MeToo).  Johnny Bender's character calls her out on this Holier-Than-Thou attitude and, in stereotypical fashion for girls with Daddy Issues, she falls for The Bad Boy.

Had he written a sequel starring Claire, it would have been Showgirls.

These things are not actually said aloud, so it's understandable that a Hollywood actress would miss these very relevant points -- especially if "her" character doesn't say them.  Because screenwriters are only there to clean-up actors' improvisational genius -- that's what screenwriters do.  That's the job.

I suppose, at this point, I should say that Caitlin Jenner is strong and beautiful.

It's all pretty ugly -- like life... especially adolescence.  Like teenagers and teenagers' rooms and teenagers' cars...  And an overwhelming number of people Ringwald's age identified heavily with The Breakfast Club because of this.

It's far from pleasant, but it's politically incorrect, and too often awkward (and also problematic), to discuss these very real life situations and human personalities in mixed company -- which is what makes it so refreshing to see it onscreen, or read it in a book not written by a pompous Hollywood blowhard... or an AI writing program one slaps his name on as a lazy attempt at anti-art.  

John Hughes understood that regular, everyday people can be retarded awkward and gay problematic -- and also selfish and wrong and obtuse and sometimes ugly even if they're physically very attractive.  And all of that's okay because regular people -- unlike The Hollywood People -- are far from perfect.

Especially awkward, problematic people of teen age.

She claims Bender's unwarranted sexual assault in the movie is worthy of some kind of heavy-handed police action.  Maybe.  But Claire responds by vice-locking his longhaired head with her knees -- practiced as they are at locking -- then brutally assaults him in a fit of hysterical rage before sleeping with him.  Lesson learned.  

The bigger issue is that today, had Bender been problematic gay and accosted a man same-sex non-gender-fluid sentient being in whom he was interested in a similar fashion, audiences are likely to laugh at it the way we did back then.  But then feel bad because the same-sex non-gender-fluid love interest was not consenting -- the way we felt awkward because we knew it was wrong to do things Bender, and people like him, does in the film.  That discomfort is part of what makes it funny.

That doesn't make his behavior any less acceptable in real life but -- in a fucking movie -- it's funny.  Also, in the movie, he didn't actually accost the actress.  Hollywood, like the US government it represents -- The Moral Majority, as they are known -- has never been able to tell fact from fiction, so much so that they made a law allowing them to circumvent reality, and are now working to criminalize anyone who dares question what they tell you to believe.

In fact, they have suspended our Twitter accounts, and have now locked us out of our YouTube accounts without explanation!

Movies, TV, and radio were the social media of our age -- that's how the term, "Watercooler Episode" originated.  We watched them in theaters with dozens of other people (hundreds, by the Multiplex '90s) , so they were seen in a communal environment, and had a larger impact than the four or five stump speeches Hollywood churns out today.  Movies like The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo's Fire started discussions that never would have occurred otherwise -- discussions Millennials aren't allowed to have today, under penalty of Law. 

They were actually important films, not pretenders to the throne, and the insights they presented helped close the divide between groups and people who had little, if anything, in common.  These movies were what we had in common -- in many cases, just as in The Breakfast Club itself -- they were the only experiences we had in common.

They were not marketed as The Most Important Movies of Their Time, or The Most Important Shows You're Not Watching.  You weren't a racistsexistmisogynistantisemitewhitenationalist for not purchasing 100,000 tickets for schoolchildren to manipulate the Box Office results.  That they didn't have token Latinos, Blacks, and disabled persons of interest color is because that would have weakened verisimilitude, or suspension of disbelief -- something actors create all by themselves (that's why they get paid $1.3 trillion to make movies).

They had also just started busing the token kids in at that time -- yet another uncomfortable truth troublemakers choose to "overlook" -- so most of us didn't have those token friends The Hollywood People and Republican Party love to cart-out at certain events like the child survivors of Syrian bombings.  I went to a predominantly black elementary school, so I rarely hung-out with the black kids who thought I worshipped the Devil because I listened to Slayer -- I just bought Mexican dirt weed from them.

Yes, that is racist: I know they were holding them Dank Buds.

In those days, the Moral Majority -- those who knew best for all, because They had The Master Plan handed down from On High (ahem) -- pulled the very same shit they do today.  And guess who presided over the PMRC, and the hearings on what was Right and what was wrong, and who was allowed to say what?

Manbearpig and his Goddamn wife.  I swear to Christ.

Do John Hughes' movies hold-up today?  Absolutely.  Are they politically correct?  Of course not -- neither are teenagers, and neither is real life.

Well, I'm sure Molly Ringwald's teenager is, of course -- all actors' and celebrities' children are perfect.  You can tell from their mugshots.

Life, history, politics, reality -- and yes, people (especially people of teen age) -- can be ugly, and too often are.  These subjects are often separatist, racist, sexist, hateful, and demoralizing to people who deserve much better.  We should be emotionally and intellectually fit enough to observe these things as they are, and deal with them in that fashion.  But Hollywood, and its denizens, are neither -- and are far from innocent.

So, since everyone else has a soapbox for their cause celebre, and we're certainly moments away from having our little plug pulled (assuming this ever sees the light of day to begin with), I figure #MeToo:

The Truth is that every state in the US has unisex bathrooms anyone can use, and no one stands outside to monitor who is doing so... yet.

The Truth is that the KKK has every right to their little rallies, which are always attended by more Federal officers than Klansmen, and the way to end them is to not attend them -- or promote them, or glorify them, or glorify those who protest them.  Like you do Jehovah's Witnesses at the front door.

The Truth is that, if Nationalists really hated "Socialism," they'd refund all the government benefits they receive (nay, demand!) for military/defense contracts, and refuse assistance provided by programs like Medicare, SNAP, and those provided by Veterans' Affairs.

The Truth is that none of the men accused by the hostile #MeToo terrorist movement have been convicted, or even stood trial for a civil matter, yet a mere sketchy accusation is all it takes to end their careers and lives.  And -- just like the worst of the accused did -- these "activists" and "social justice warriors" use force, intimidation, and a myriad of terrorist tactics to silence all dissent, and suppress any evidence contrary to their unfounded accusations ("Their Ends Justify Their Means").

The Truth is that criminalizing every word, deed, and thought has lead to mass incarceration and the demonization of innocent people who are forced to become hardened criminals just to survive the environments in which pristine celebrities like Ringwald can't wait to place them.

The Truth is that the AIPAC/CFI-sponsored "Mainstream Media" is Guilty of innumerable War Crimes, Human Rights Abuses, and Crimes Against Humanity -- including Incitement, Defamation, Assassination of Character, Mass Murder, Sedition, and High Treason -- and no mere, fabricated "Law" (NDAA) should shield them from prosecution to the fullest extent of International Law.  This includes giant tech companies that dip in and out of the Media environment as it suits their purposes.

The Truth is that most of these people support harboring undocumented citizens as a form of indentured servitude, and those who have lived the majority of their lives in this country without criminal incident should be considered citizens.

The Truth is that, if celebrities and banksters want to disarm the citizenry, they should lead the way by disarming themselves, disarming their security, and employing only unarmed security at their too-posh benefit events for the Syrian children they campaign tirelessly to bomb endlessly.

The Truth is that you won't hear a single celebrity -- Sarah Silverman, Susan Sarandon, Rosario Dawson, and a handful of others aside -- say any of this.  And you aren't likely to hear us saying it much longer, either...

Hearing these horrible excuses for human beings preach on nothing more than the safest bets, hopping on every speeding bandwagon that passes their way, has become sickening to the point of criminality: 

I woke up the other morning to hear Gayle King say, "We can teach Hate --" and I turned off the fucking TV.

Molly Ringwald, like the (literally) drugged, (actually) brainwashed, Millennial Generation Hollywood is so desperate to get to the voter booths (but only if they vote Democrat!), should get over herself and step out of the echo chamber for a breath of fresh, L.A. smog -- and hope she doesn't get hit by one of them drive-bys!  (Relax, racists, it would be an acid attack or machete strike from atop a moped, were she in London.)  I doubt she sees a brown face six days of any week unless it's cleaning her house, and I doubt that fact occurs to her more than once every 40 years.

Maybe one day, these talented players of the Moral Majority will reunite and make a movie about Hollywood actors who hate the movies audiences love that made them rich and famous.  Co-starring John Cusack.

---
* There are over 50 sexes in the insect kingdom.  Shamanism teaches you not to follow the insects, as they exist only to eat, breed, and die, and have no Higher Purpose.  Bees have a hivemind and live only to serve their queen.  Meditate on that shit: That's what your esteemed cult leaders think of you -- you are a means to an end, and nothing more.  They are Defense Contractors, by the way.

© The Weirding, 2018

Hollywood: America's Charity

Hollywood is notorious for many things but in the last decade or so, one of the most driving of those is the notion of "charity." Every other day, some two-bit celebrity is throwing its weight behind this charity or that one and attempting to guilt-trip the rest of us into giving to their cause. A year ago, a lot of them soaked their heads and got a lot of others to do the same. While the public was told it was for one reason, the truth is a lot darker: While most of the money went to charity, there were no good intentions - it was to avoid lengthy and costly court battles over a perceived "slight" felt by the ALS community.

Most of social media needs to go soak its head anyway, and a good time was had by most (there were a few injuries, including an entire team of firefighters), so there was nothing inherently wrong with the whole thing, it just brings up a lot of uncomfortable questions concerning "non-profit" charities and their link to Hollywood.

Still, the Hollywood "charity" train barrels on without anyone ever stopping to wonder why it is that if multimillionaire celebrities care so deeply for these causes, they don't simply donate more of their own time and money instead of asking the rest of us. It's one thing to ask me to donate to a charitable cause, it's another when I know you received $80mn for your last film and receive huge tax breaks for donating to the same cause. And yet another when I know that you already receive huge tax breaks simply for having made $80mn! And you get free limo rides everywhere you go. And free designer clothes. And free meals in the most upscale restaurants. And are being paid to promote the charity in the first place!

I'm not jumping on that whole "Hollywood has lost touch" bandwagon here - Hollywood has never been "in-touch" with the common man. That's actually one of the things that used to make it great - they were larger-than-life figures that gave us commoners something to talk about, with lives we could only dream of having, even if it was only a show. My point is far more serious:

When is the last time you saw a truly moving, inspiring Hollywood film? When is the last time you walked out of a theater feeling you got your money's worth? Shit, I know people who won't even pay $8.00 a month for Netflix or Hulu+, which have tens of thousands of movies, because they don't feel it's worth it!

So, give to charities [you want to support] by all means, but when it comes to Hollywood-backed charities, keep in mind that they have an incentive to promote those organizations - and that you have already donated to at least one charity by paying to see their dreck.

© The Weirding, 2015

Please Help

© C Harris Lynn, 2011

Bleh!

Well, once again, I got a whole four hours of sleep... maybe.

Absolutely no one in my life respects me. And I fully understand that repressing this anger and seething rage is unhealthy and the very foundation for, say, a school shooting.

But I don't go to school, I don't own a gun, and so long as we're being honest, I'm too effing tired to expend any amount of energy doing anything other than bitching to you... AND YES, I DO KNOW WHAT THAT IS: THE WORLD'S TINIEST VIOLIN. So childish.

Just bite me. Bite me all over.

There is some news, but I just don't care that much. There are some press releases, but - again - just none too interested.

The good news is that things are about to change on the home-front here - and, no, I am not going to go on a rampage against those who have wronged me, justified though that may be - and hopefully everything will get back to relative normalcy... just three more days.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

ManoDogs' "Fame Story"

I played death metal semi-professionally for many years. That means that I played with a lot of bands, in a few studios, and at a lot of gigs when regular drummers weren't available. 

I began playing drums when I was around 4-5 years old and taught myself by playing along to KISS albums. When I was 12-13, I started rocking-out to decidedly more complex stuff - Slayer, Metallica, etc. Of course, I did not play all this music well, but I tried. The band with which I played in highschool won the talent show but, as would be the case time and again throughout my musical career, things fell apart before we were able to "take it to the next level."

At around 15, I heard Deicide (the first album) and it literally changed my world. By 18, I was playing in one of the most popular local underground bands; I was, in fact, a (very) minor celebrity in my own right; people knew who I was and what I did. I wasn't asked to appear in commercials or on the cover of phonebooks, but local DJs, event organizers, and club managers would call and let me know they were having this act or that promotion and let me get in for free, give me free drinks, blahblahblah. I had sex with very hot chicks who should have known better (read: strippers, ahem, "dancers"), I drank too much and often made a fool of myself, and people genuinely, and generally, wanted to be around me.

Now let me add that I knew most of these people quite well - we'd grown-up together, were friends for years, and so on - many of the people I knew eventually went into the entertainment business in one form or another or I met them through mutual involvement in the entertainment field. That is not unusual; I mention it because I am being honest: there were many times when the whole "celebrity" thing went to my head. It's very natural and just something that happens. I never bit the heads off any bats or made a sex tape (that I recall!), but I certainly showed my ass a few times over the years because I confused the fact that I knew a lot of people - and/or they knew me - with being "famous."

But that is kind of what "being famous" means, right? Well, let me clarify: I often confused the fact that I was well-known with the idea that I was well-known for something. That's the only way I can put it and I don't know if even that is accurate because I was in the middle of it.

So, one night, I was going into a popular club where I was well-known and - at that time - well-liked, and some guy in the line started screaming my name really loudly and calling attention to the whole scene. He asked me if I was still playing "that heavy shit" and if I was still "banging that hot chick - you know, the really hot one?" and so forth and so on...

And could I get him and his wife and her sister into the club?

Now, if I were to say I wasn't flattered, I would be lying; likewise, if I were to tell you the whole thing wasn't embarrassing, I'd be lying, too; I had never received this sort of attention and I didn't know how to handle it. But this was a guy who had hung-out with so-and-so and remembered some girl I'd dated years before and knew my brother and so on and so forth, so he must have been a "fan," right? Forget the fact that I didn't know him from Adam and didn't recognize his name; he knew me, and that's what counted... right? I mean, that's how fame works, right?

As we walked past the throng to the front of the line, random people called my name and said things like, "That's him," and stuff like that. They didn't know me, they just knew that that guy knew me and I was some sort of Someone who did Something - and they wanted to be a part of that, somehow.

Once inside, the guy thanked me and asked me what I drank and so on. I sat down and waited for him to return... for a while; he did not return and I did not receive my drink. I saw one of the girls who was with him later on that night and when I tried to talk to her, she gave me this annoyed look and ignored me.

So there I sat, thinking I deserved it. After all, I knew I wasn't really Anyone; I played death metal in a city known for rap and blues! I knew all of my true "fans" by their first name! I didn't recognize this guy and I didn't recall his name. So what if he knew my brother or he had seen us play in the practice room, or at the comics shop, or in someone's living room? At least 345907235097 other people had too over the past 10 years!

So there I was, beating myself up over my hubris and stupidity, when one of the bouncers I knew (barely - like his name and face - just from the club) asked me to come over. It turned out this little prick and his wimminfolk had gotten far too drunk and started something and they were forcibly being "asked to leave." And, of course, they told the bouncers and managers they were with me!!! So the bouncer goes, "Did these guys come in with you?"

And there's that little chick that ignored me earlier, running off at the mouth about how she's gonna kick this bitch's ass and that bitch's and they done made her cry and everyone knows how she gets when she gets to crying - aw, hell naw! - that means she's really mad and yaddayadda, and I just shook my head and said, "Nope - I don't know them."

Of course, they all started in on how they went to highschool with me and knew the band and all the stuff they'd said to get in to begin with, and I was just like, "Nope - they must be thinking of my little brother."

A few days later, I saw something on TV about how Sharon Stone was supposed to be this big ice queen and I thought, "I figure she has to be."

This story somehow got around - again, I do not know who this guy was but he obviously did know some of the people I did - and several months later, it was told to me in a very different form: basically, I was the "asshole." But the interesting thing is that, when I told my side of it, the cats who asked me about it were all like, "Oh yeah, he's a jerk - that sounds more like what really happened."

!!!!!!!!!!

In other words, this guy had a reputation for this behavior - as, apparently, did the chicks that were with him - but the story still got passed around with me as the villain!

I was around 22-23 when I discovered that "fame" - whatever it is or is supposed to be - just isn't my cup o' tea.

And that's my Fame Story - the one I trot-out at dinner parties and shit.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

Emo Goths Need Headcheck

Now this is the kind of shit that keeps me upset:

Two dumbassed "goth" kids from the UK are suing a bus line for throwing them off because the dummy girlfriend refused to remove her dog leash!

Seriously.

The guy, 24, leads his idiot fiancee, 19, around on a dog leash and a bus driver asked them to disembark for safety reasons. They tried to catch another bus, but were refused entrance on the same grounds.

This seems pretty clear-cut to me: these two kids are morons.

I have no problem with whatever "lifestyle" they choose to follow - regardless of how inane and stupid - but there are some very simple rules one must follow when one is out in public. No matter what sort of bullshit "ethos" they have created to justify their pathetic need for negative attention, it's very obvious from their actions in this instance that, had the bus been forced to stop suddenly or some other situation had arisen, and the moronic fiancee had been choked to death, they would have sued over that.

Do these idiots really think a restaurant would allow her to eat from a dog bowl, just as an example?

I hate cases like this because they cause such internal conflict for me: on the one hand, I support their right to be idiotic kids; on quite the other, I find their behavior completely ridiculous because they know damned well that they cannot act like that in public. Of course, this particular case is very clear: these kids are idiots and should be publicly mocked and humiliated until they realize that the rest of the world does not have to cater to their stupidity.

Grow up!

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

New Video Games Violence Study

A Dr. Tanya Byron is heading a new study om the effect of violence in video games over there in the UK. One industry insider noted that video games are the modern-day scapegoat that is often the first to be blamed for all of society's ills, from school violence to general crime to obesity. Another added that, while the study is important, it is unfair to single-out one media, "especially when media are intersecting." The study is expected to last six months.

David Braben of Frontier Games said, "Historically there has always been in government a Luddite sentiment - whatever the new industry is tends to take the blame of the latest ailment of society." But I'm not so sure I agree.

After all, video games and computers are not really "new," are they? No one was saying this stuff about plain-old Nintendos when they first hit the scene, and no one was "addicted" to the internet until the late 1990s - early 2000s. Of course, the media have come a long way since those early days. But Japan had Nintendo and several other media years before they were approved for sale in the Western world and they seem to either not have this problem or not take it as seriously, so that does lend some credence to what Mr. Braben says.

And if you think back to the early days of motion pictures, and even television (though to a lesser extent), this is what led to the Hayes administration and the ratings system. And then, of course, there was the Comics Code of the 1950s - something straight out of Decatur County, TN. It is a tendency of our society to blame popular media for all its woes, this is true, but with the rise of obesity and teen violence, as well as the overwhelmingly popular video game hobby, it is a fair question.

But, if we're being honest, I would point the finger at gangster rap long before I worried about video games. After all, gangsta rappers are selling an entire lifestyle and image; video games exist within themselves.

On Mary Winkler: Life in Smalltown, TN

Well, Mary Winkler has been making headlines for over a year now, but she and her story may have peaked yesterday on The Oprah Winfrey Show. While I didn't actually watch the show, I heard the entire program (I sat outside and read my book). The big story here is, of course, why she was found not guilty when she clearly shot her husband at close range while he slept.

Seeing as how Selmer, TN, is just a short ways from where I currently live and only an hour or so from where I grew up - not to mention that I know plenty of people who have lived there, were born there, reside there, and so forth - I thought I would weigh-in on this issue so that you good readers have some better insight as to how this happened:

First of all, you have to remember that Selmer, TN - not unlike Decatur County, TN - is a Southern community in the most extreme sense. To call it "inbred" may be insulting, but it's really not that far from the truth in the sense that pretty much everyone who lives there has always lived there and was more than likely born there, their parents lived there and were most likely born there, their grandparents - on down the line. This guy married that guy's sister and that sister has kids by that guy, whose brother is the sheriff; the sheriff doesn't really like that guy because he drinks too much, but he went to school with him and they used to be friends before he slept with the sheriff's prom date on the night of the prom, so "that's just how he is" and he'll let bygones be bygones - deep down, he's still a good ol' boy at heart; on down the line.

Now, if this sounds down-homey, I suppose it can be, so long as you're a part of that whole network - and it is a network moreso than a community. See, the whole thing is about who knows who, and then over here, you got favoritism... Movie quotes aside, most of it centers on the church.

In these small Southern towns, the church acts as the hub of all activity; it is the rehab, the battered wives' club, the AA replacement workshop. No matter what you do, you can pretty much get away with it if you are a member in good standing of a local church - and that just means that you attend on a fairly regular basis - or you did at one time (before you "got problems").

It goes like this: "Yeah, he robbed my house to pay for his scorching meth habit, but you know, he has A Problem. He's going back to church now, though." Right down the line. Church is a kind of social club that culls only lip-service reverence; most of the church-goers are far dirtier than the non-church members, but they only deal with the latter when they want to score or party or have something else to gain. They get away with it because they go to church, you see? The ones who don't are automatically suspect, as is anyone who isn't from the town.

Also, in these small towns, pretty much everyone sleeps with everyone else for the same reason hard drugs are such an issue: there just isn't much else to do! And most of the kids who were brought up this way tend to rebel against these small-town ways in their adolescence and young adulthood; these good ol' Southern towns crank-out dope-dealers, wannabe "gangstas," strippers, and roadwhores in a way that Hollywood, CA can only envy. Most of them have at least one kid by 17-18, get married around 19, get divorced at 21, and are strung-out on hard drugs by 25.

Of course, so long as you "don't snitch" and mind to go to church once in a while, you "have your problems." Basically, it's the good-ol' Southern Way: the more duplicitous you are, the more respectable. God bless your soul. And anyone who stands apart from this way of life literally stands apart and the rest of the network can't wait to tear them down. You get mad because that guy broke into your house to support his drug habit? Well, who are you to judge him?! Everybody's "got their problems!" Sounds like you could use some church with your holier-than-thou attitude! That street-walking truck-stop whore stole your ID and ruined your credit? Well, how'd she get it? Yeah, that's what they thought! Maybe you should get off your high-horse and go to church! "Ain't nobody perfect but the Good Lord above - the man Upstairs. Amen."

Yeah, Hallelujah.

So when Mary Winkler shot her husband, the preacher, most of the town couldn't wait to hear the story. I mean, he was a preacher, and who wouldn't want to hear the dirt she had on him? After all, he ain't perfect - ain't nobody perfect but Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Amen - and maybe it was high-time that sanctimonious preacher-man done figgered that out. And when she brought up the idea of "sexual humiliation" and other abuse, that was pretty much the nail in the preacher's coffin.

When she put that platform shoe on the stand in front of her and hung her head, Selmer, TN reeled in a collective gasp.

Because at least 60% of them had found similar shoes in their daughters' room the week before they found out she was stripping in Memphis. Which was the same week she left home and moved to Memphis with her ne'er-do-well "boyfriend" - the meth head who stole her from the guy who will one day be sheriff on prom night. But when it all blows over, they "had their problems" and no one's to blame. Besides, he's in jail awaiting felony drug sentencing and she's clean because she's going to church now, so...

Now, if you think I'm being cynical about all of this, please remember: I'm from here! I have dealt with this sort of shit literally my entire life!

In fact, just a few months back, it was rumored that I was a Devil-worshipper. You know why? Because I close my blinds for about an hour or two everyday.

True story:

Because of where my cable hook-up is and the outlay of my living room and so forth, the afternoon sun comes right through my windows and casts a glare on my TV and monitor, so everyday about 4-5:00 PM, I close my blinds. The crackhead who used to live next door began telling everyone that "only Devil-worshippers do that because they have to pray to The Devil at least one hour a day."

So help me, that was the story.

And you have to remember, I don't do drugs and he does nothing but, and all of this came up shortly after he had offered me drugs and I had declined. So he quit coming by and suddenly - voila! - I became a "Devil-worshipper."

That's just how these places work.

So when you understand that something as simple as wanting to see your TV can make you a "Devil-worshipper" in these places, you begin to see how something as silly as a platform shoe can justify murder.

Now, not everyone agrees with the verdict; many don't, in fact. And not everyone around these parts are down with this bizarre, twisted semblance of life and religion; many (but nowhere near most) will readily agree with my assessment of the situation and almost as many are offended by the duplicity of "going to church" to excuse one's sins. But I really wanted those of you outside of this microcosm, this imitation of life, to understand the very mechanics involved here.

And don't forget, even though this may sound like I agree with what some others have said as far as how "this wouldn't happen in the larger cities" - and I do, to some extent - LA has a habit of letting celebrities get away with murder and NY has a record of not being able to prosecute certain "big ticket" folks what have "connections." So it isn't like these things don't happen in the larger cities; the dynamics involved are just different.

And that there's the rundown on one Ms. Mary Winkler - and Smalltown, TN, in general.

On Bill Cosby

We've got a whole buttload (not to use a bunch of jargon) of celebrity news to get to today, including Paris, Rosie and her Holy Terror of a kid, Chris Benoit, and more, but Bill Cosby was on Wolf Blitzer yesterday and he made some really important points that I wanted to mention for anyone who didn't see it.

Dr. Cosby (he has a PhD in Child Psychology, and one or two more, I think) is very disturbed about the rising number of deaths and the increasing culture of violence and gangland activity in American youth and he said what I have said many times over: "It's not just the blacks... it's the poor." He called on "the invisible white America" to stand up and speak out, and he's talking about us: you and me.

I couldn't agree more with this, and I just want to point out that I have been speaking out about these things at every turn. Not to toot my own horn, I'm just saying that I agree that these should be more important issues for all of us. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that, Dr. Cosby aside, many in the black community continue to be the ones who insist on a separation between the races; a lot more of the "invisible whites" in America would be concerned with these issues if fewer black activists didn't try so hard to make it a minority/black issue. When they try to ram it down our throats as to how we don't care about black people and so forth, we absolutely turn a deaf ear to it because, if they want to make it into an "Us vs. Them" situation, then We - rightfully - figure it's Their problem. Why wouldn't we? We have problems across the board, so if the black community has a problem, the black community should handle it.

Thank God for people like Dr. Cosby, who have the nerve and wherewithal to stand up and remind us - ALL - that these are AMERICAN issues!

But I disagreed with him when he said we shouldn't blame our leaders and we need to say we believe in America. I do blame our leaders and I do not believe in America. I'd love to believe in America, and I am trying in my own little way, to celebrate some of the great things about our country, but let's be honest: America has been conditioned to lie down and is sold-out.

I'll give it a little more time, but the white eyes that stole this country have raped it and murdered it and the wake is drawing to a close.

I'm Hard on Porn (and Celebrities)

It's true, but there are a lot of reasons.

For one, this is an Americana blog. I'd love to have enough comics and gaming news and errata to blog about nothing but, but there just isn't that much of that stuff to go around every week. Not to mention that there are already a thousand other websites and blogs that handle this type of stuff and many of them are much closer to the action than I am, so I'd constantly be getting "scooped." Hell, I get a fair share of inside information as it is and I usually forget to post it before I get scooped!

And I don't mind dishing on the celebs when something fun is the talk o' the day - Paris and Lindsay are particularly fun to riff on - but that only goes so far. The simple fact of the matter is that discussing porn and celebrities at least occasionally is a necessary evil, since they are both so mainstream Americana now.

And that gets under my skin. Often.

I don't like to sound preachy and I'm far from the best person to preach to anyone, anyway! I smoke, I drink, I watch porn, I listen to death metal too loud until the cops get called on me. But the excuses and reasoning so many people come up with to justify the state of what passes for entertainment nowadays, the extent to which they go to to deny that any of it has a negative impact on young people and society in general, the underlying mantra that so long as they are making money from whatever they are doing, it has some redeeming artistic merit or social value - it's just offensive on so many levels! Can there really be anyone left on this planet that believes they would quit making porn tomorrow if we just quit buying it? Or that the glamorization of gun violence across the boards doesn't contribute to the youth culture of gang violence?

I mean, even 10 years ago, Spider-Man was Americana, pop-culture. Superman, Batman, Star Wars anything, Coca-Cola - this stuff is pop-culture and Americana, for eff's sake! Nowadays, it's thugs on crime sprees, celebrities on crime sprees, school shootings, crank and hardcore pornography, celebrities doing crank and hardcore pornography... And no one can argue that these aren't the pop-culture staples of the day!

Do I think these things are bad? Well, yes and no to various degrees, but that's really not the point: the point is that these things shouldn't be the focus of youth, Americana, and pop-culture - and yet, they very much are! I mean, let's be honest: drugs are not good, but a little partying never killed anyone - well, except Jim Morrison. Lynn Baez. Well, and Jimi Hendrix... Janis Joplin, Chris Farley, River Phoenix, Glenn Quinn - okay, wait...

Guns! Guns are not good, but they... okay, let's see.

OH! I got it! Okay, unprotected sex with multiple partners in front of an audience for money...

Yeah.

I'm... I'm gonna go crawl under my Star Wars bedsheets and read some comics.

The Hiltonian "Democracy"

You know, the more I watch the news, the madder I get. It isn't just about the brazen crimes in our country (which says, "You can't stop me"), nor the bold double-talk by the politicians (which says, "You're too stupid to know what I'm saying"), nor the world politicians (who are increasingly saying, "We dare you") - it's all those things, and all of these things are illustrated perfectly by Paris Hilton's release from jail earlier today.

What it is, above and beyond all these other audacious things is the most brazen of them all: Our government is staring us straight in the face and saying, "We're going to do whatever the guy who pays us the most tells us to and there's nothing you can do to stop us unless you offer us more money. We dare you to try."

An alcoholic murderer is standing on the Senate floor, demanding that we give amnesty to illegal aliens because they're going to come here anyway and if we don't give them amnesty, they're going to be exploited and humiliated. He doesn't seem to understand that they won't stand up to this exploitation and humiliation in their own countries, which is why they're more than happy to come here and stand up for those rights. He doesn't mention that drug-related gangland-style crimes are at an all-time high in Mexico and that crime is spilling right over our borders into our own country. He refuses to mention that once these illegal immigrants are given amnesty, they are going to be eligible for Welfare benefits, Social Security, and other benefits paid for by you and me - not them, because they haven't been paying taxes for all the years they've been here and, even if they have, they've been receiving free health care, schooling, and other benefits for which they did not pay! Not to mention that the vast majority of these illegal immigrants are low-skilled, uneducated people whose contributions to these systems will be negligible over the long run.

He will not say that the only reason he and his party support amnesty for these people is because they want to exploit them. They are unskilled laborers who will take stressful, hard-working jobs for less pay than American citizens who are better educated and more highly-skilled. And who benefits from this? The corporations, who bought him and his fellow party members, and the farmers. And the government benefits from the farmers being able to pay lower wages because that means they can cut back even further on the grants and loans they give them.

Face it: unless we stand up and get mad as hell about all of this, we might as well just move to Mexico, because in another 10-15 years, it's going to be a better country! And why not? All of their disenfranchised, unskilled, and uneducated will be here! Their drug cartels, their gang members, their proletarians - they will all be here, draining our resources and coffers.

The big companies pay these assholes to pass the laws they want passed. The bleach-blonde socialite heiresses pay to get out of jail early. And the whole time, they thumb their noses at us and dare us to make them change - or, better yet, wink at us as if to say, "Oh, you know you'd do the same."

Our country is being run by a mass of Paris Hiltons!

And now they have the unmitigated gall to bring up religion in their little "debates"! Just like little Miss Hilton! Oh, I'm quite certain getting down on her knees helped her get out of jail early, but I don't think she was down there praying.

What can we do? What in the world can we do?

Jackass Trapped?

Johnny Knoxville and two other celebrities are being sued over a radio stunt involving a moron, a mousetrap, and his member.

One Perry Caravello alleges that Johnny Knoxville, Jimmy Kimmel, and Adam Corolla agreed to pay him $10 million to put his genitals in a mousetrap. He would promote the Jackass DVD on-air while he did the stunt, in exchange for the $10 million. He injured himself pretty badly and no one's paid him a dime.

Oh wow, where to start here?

Okay: shows like Jackass and Borat are very bad news for this very reason. The people involved in these shows are very well-versed in the legalities involved and they use them against others. They know how to be injurious to people - how to victimize others for their own profit - and get away with it, and they use these methods to basically entice and trick people into doing things they would otherwise never do, then signing over rights they weren't even aware they had. These people are nothing more than vicious profiteers who are just now - some ten years or so into their "careers" - starting to be held responsible for their behavior.

I have no doubt that these cats agreed to pay this guy $10 million. Whether or not they were "just joking" I could not say, but once they realized how seriously the guy took their offer, they had a responsibility to stop him and say, "We were just kidding."

Further, Cavallero alleges that the stunt was videotaped without his knowledge and wound up on the Internet. What I'm wondering is who taped the stunt? It's very possible Cavallero was too drunk to realize someone was taping it (I can't even begin to imagine how much I'd have to drink to put my genitals into a mousetrap, but I'm sure that would be the only thing on my mind at the time), but whomever did it should be included in the lawsuit as well.

Sometimes, people do things and no matter who tells them how many times that it's not a good idea, they do them anyway. A lot of times though, people are just doing things to get attention, prove their "manhood" (pun fully intended), or some other social reason. I think we all have a responsibility to let people know they are doing something dangerous or are about to get involved in something that could be injurious whenever we realize it. That means that if your friend is about to snap his wang in a mousetrap, you have a responsibility to say, "That is a very stupid idea." If you don't, you're definitely guilty of neglect, but not necessarily deserving of punishment.

On quite the other hand, if you encourage such behavior, or you tell them to wait long enough for you to fetch your camera, you are an accessory to that behavior and deserve a portion of the punishment. If you profit from others' bad behavior or victimization, you are guilty.

At any rate, this is open and shut for me: this guy is definitely an idiot, but no one can say whether or not he would have stuck his member in a mousetrap without the enticement of $10 million. In fact, I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who are thinking, "For $10 million, I'd have sex with a mousetrap!" So it's obvious that Corolla, Kimmel, and Knoxville owe this guy $10 million.

None of the celebrities have responded to the allegations.

Prince Harry... an "Embarrassment" or a Man?

Now I'm not sure where this one fits. I'd say it is political and should go over to The Wording, but it's really not. The Royal family is treated like celebrities and pretty much always have been - they don't have any "real" political power anyway - so I decided to slap the lip about here:

What the living hell makes these paparazzi think they can invade peoples' personal lives and space so consistently and aggressively without at least occasional reprisal? And what the living hell gives them the right to then call these people "an embarrassment" or anything else, other than human, once they do lash out? From what I know of Prince Harry and many other celebrities who have "lashed out" at these bottom-feeders, they've been put through the wringer more than a few times, so these jerks ought to publicly laud them for not having whooped some ass more often than they have!

If these people are going to condemn their meal tickets, then why don't they grow up and get real jobs? I mean, sticking a camera in their faces on a red carpet or a public event is one thing, but laying in wait and attacking them is quite another. Further, if you weren't aware, these people don't sit passively by and snap a few pictures when they get the chance: they actively - and often aggressively - provoke and antagonize their subjects in order to get "better" pictures. They curse at them, mock them, say completely ugly and terrible things to them - the whole nine; they are actively provoking their subjects in order to get them riled-up so they can get an exciting picture and create a big story, such as this one.

And further, to close on yet another note I hear too often, what is with this magic number bit? The one guy says in this article, "This young man is not a boy anymore, he's not 18, he's 22," as though that has much of anything to do with... practically anything. The kid has led a very pampered, sheltered life - and I don't mean that in an insulting way; I mean to say that a mere four years does not necessarily make that big of a difference outside of young adolescence and the toddler stage. What other 18 or 22 or 97 year-old do you know of that had a childhood like Prince Harry (aside from his brother)?

If you want to get right down to it, how is it that anyone can defend the people who - directly, directly - led to the death of the poor guy's mother? How can anyone say he doesn't have the right to lash out at the paparazzi at least once in a while? He probably thought the guy had tripped him...

And I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the bottom-feeder didn't.

Do Comics Contribute?

A series of articles on the BBC the other day got me to wondering about the role comic books play in the sexualization of young women, as well as how young men perceive them.

Accordingly, one article explained how the early sexualization of women is both mentally and physically harmful and another article pointedly proved this, noting that 51% of women polled between the ages of 14 and 34 would have plastic surgery to alter their looks. Even without this second article making the point, I think most all of us can agree that this is in fact a problem.

Now, obviously an artist myself, I'm not saying that the media or entertainment industries are solely to blame for this, but I've been saying for years now that it's very obvious that we do have some responsibility to the audience and society in general as to how we depict women, sex, sexuality, violence, minorities - the whole nine. You can argue it however you like, but this is 2007 and we can see the effects these things have had on youth and our society in general, no matter how we choose to deny it.

When I was growing up, it was all about sex and pornography. With the advent of VCRs came the proliferation of pornographic movies and we were the first generation of kids who had easy access to them; we were the first generation to grow up with easily-accessible hardcore pornography. The resultant explosion in teenage pregnancies were the direct result of that - you can argue the point, but the evidence proves it! The "Y"-Generation (the ones coming into adulthood now, more or less - over the last few years, anyway - the 20-somethings) were really the first to grow up with blatantly violent and explicit music lyrics, music videos, and so on (specifically "gangsta" rap and the "gangsta" culture), and the resultant explosion in violence and crime is the direct result of that. You can argue otherwise, but the evidence proves it. The generation growing up on reality TV today will result in an explosion of sad, pathetic, young people who will turn to pornography, "Jackass"-type stunts, and pretty much any other personal and public debasement in order to become famous - celebrity is all.

And I got to wondering just how much comics play into all of this. Let's face it, there is a dearth of flat-chested superheroines and there are even fewer overweight ones. But just how much do girls read comics and which ones do they read? I don't mean to sound misogynistic in saying this, but I would think more females are interested in the indie comics which center on interpersonal relationships and do not feature superheroes and their adventures. Of course, I'm 32 and while this was true in my day and age, times have changed drastically. More and more females are interested in all sorts of things that were once the preeminent domain of boys - video games, sports, and so on.

So do comics - specifically superhero comics - contribute to this damage? Do enough young women even read them for it to matter? Even if they don't, do enough young men get the wrong idea about women from them? I certainly have a "thing" for beautiful women - and not in the "Duh, who doesn't?" sense, because they come with their own set of headaches (most of them have no self-esteem and a tendency to be emotionally difficult and demanding) - but I don't know if growing up on comic books is what caused that and I can't say it didn't... I'd certainly be willing to concede that they might have contributed to/reinforced the preference.

And I'm not condemning myself for my preference or opening myself up to attack; I tend to prefer very attractive women and that's not really every man's preference; many guys are intimidated by them, distrust them, think them stupid, or prefer to use them for certain needs while fulfilling emotional ones with other, generally less attractive, women who tend to be less difficult - and I think at least some women can appreciate what I am trying to say here (I hope).

What does everyone else think?

On Bullies and Ethics

I saw a piece of Dr. Phil earlier, and his guests were three girls. The bigger girl had been bullying the other two and they had taken to withdrawing, not wanting to go to school, general depression, even cutting! And the whole thing made me think of that bit we keep hearing about how more and more people today feel lonely and disconnected and more and more people are turning to online social lives.

I put 2 and 2 together, and may have come up with 5, but I think all these people, we people I should say, have been bullied. Nowadays, it's just too easy for anyone to say or do pretty much anything that can completely ruin your life. Set aside the rampant, obvious drug abuse, street violence, and general crime - focus on the fact that the legal system is run by career opportunists and abused by career opportunists and all of them can run you down, "lose" you in the system, and have the balls to come down even harder on you when you question their authority.

So people have withdrawn, stopped wanting to go out and socialize. Instead, they live online, with "friends" they don't really know and on themed websites where things aren't what they seem; we've created our own fantasy worlds of sorts into which we've collectively retreated. It's not like we're all xenophobic or agoraphobic and all of that clinical-ese; we're just tired of the way the world is and we really don't want to deal with it on its terms because its terms are not beneficial to us, as individuals. We've been bullied into submission and we've withdrawn online, where we have more control over our environment.

And a lot of this comes from the "got what you deserved" mentality where everyone confuses vengeance for justice and takes the easy way out on everything. I know I've been harping on this for months now, but with Borat and my recent troubles, it's been on my mind a lot. I really think there's something to this, since we're always being told that we are 100% responsible for everything that happens to us, which any common dummy knows isn't even close to the truth. We've become a society that turns to the same handful of cliches to absolve ourselves of responsibility to our fellow man every time the issue arises.

If I walk outside my home and get hit by a meteor, that's "life"; if a guy tells me I'm signing a contract for one thing, but it turns out it's actually for something else, that's a con job! And I don't buy the idea that I should have read the whole thing and since I didn't, I "got what I deserved" - largely because most of the 11-pages are comprised of confusing legal jargon in 4-pt. fine print. And people are so tired of this mentality and this outlook - of being made to feel responsible for every bad thing that happens to them and having to "get over it" and "let it go" that they'd much rather just stay at home, where they at least feel safe and have more control; we're all so tired of everyone blaming the victim that we are refusing to live life for fear of being victimized without recourse.

And this isn't going to change until we change the way modern American society thinks. Of course, my saying that will cause most people to say I am "playing the victim" and "blaming society," which is total bullshit.

Things don't happen in a vacuum, people. If society refuses to be responsible for its individuals, then the individuals will naturally withdraw from that society and seek acceptance wherever they can find it... and a lot of sub-sects of society prey on just such people.