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| Typical Hollywood Actress Reaction |
That's a fair question.
She was an actress who appeared in almost every John Hughes movie there ever was in the far away land called "The 1980s." A pretty redhead, she portrayed the emblematic "Princess" of those flicks -- a role she had no problem playing for a decade, and even reprised for a cameo in a terrible 2001 film -- but now (that all the checks have cleared) she finds them highly offensive.
Now you're probably asking yourself, "Who the fuck is John Hughes?" Again, fair question:
John Hughes had a stranglehold on the teen, "coming of age" films of the 1980s; from Sixteen Candles to Ferris Bueller's Day Off to what many consider to be his magnum opus, The Breakfast Club, and well beyond, Hughes managed, more often than not, to nail teenaged archetypes of the period --
That's... that's not what I mean, #Me
But, in a scathing screed of hate speech, Ringwald lobbed every bigoted, pop-culture label her pretty little head could muster at The Breakfast Club -- the film which made her a bonafide movie star, and part of what was known as "The Brat Pack." Not unusual for a Hollywood actress, she had no idea what she was saying, and was unlikely to have ever read the entire script (just her lines and queues) or seen the finished product before watching it with her daughter. That her reactionary finger-wagging typified the character for which she became famous is a level of irony that can be missed only by people in Carson City and NYC.
Yes, Way Back When, there were jocks, and gearheads, and princesses, and outcasts, and nerds -- in every classroom in every public school across the nation -- and John Hughes' movies accurately captured those archetypes. That those stereotypes still exist today is no surprise -- that's why stereotypes exist.
The overprivileged whitefolk (got to point that out, since it's problematic) of the 1980s indulged their self-inflicted ennui by wearing all black, smoking clove cigarettes, reading Interview with a Vampire, and listening to whiny, "Alternative" music like Morrissey. They became Goths in the 1990s - 2000s, and pierced everything because they weren't old enough to become strippers. And listened to Morrissey. Now, they vape and dye their hair blue (if they're girls) and pink (if they're boys -- no one's sure), because it's politically incorrect to teach gradeschool-level Biology. *
Through these stereotypes, elevated to archetype in John Hughes' talking heads The Breakfast Club, teenagers of the time were forced to confront some very ugly truths about ourselves, while also seeing other stereotypes face their own. The characters said things that we didn't have the opportunity to, much less the nerve. And while their situations were not ours, and their behavior over the top (it's a fucking movie -- a moving picture, or motion of picture), they and their situations were relatable to our own.
That's what made John Hughes' movies so popular: They presented human teenagers and young adults as we were -- as ridiculous and politically incorrect as that is -- whereas most movies sidelined us as minor characters with overblown adolescent issues, or made us react to the situation (Back to the Future, Weird Science). While highly stylized, John Hughes' movies presented a more realistic, in-depth character study of the teenage stereotypes to which most of us relate at that age.
Popular culture relies heavily on stereotypes, especially for shorthand, and this is never more obvious than in movies, due to the limited playing time.
John Bender -- your stereotypical, longhaired stoner -- absolutely did not "sexually harass" Claire, the hapless lass Molly Ringwald portrayed onscreen. Nor did his onscreen antics negatively influence an entire generation of men -- or women, or
Not to laud my intellectual privilege, but we were just plain smarter.
Bender was wrong -- pretty much all the way around -- and he was also On Dope. Throughout the course of the movie, we learn that he is a victim of abuse, which is why he is defiant and acts out irrationally: He craves negative attention, as it is the only attention he is accustomed to receiving. Estevez' jock is also the victim of abuse who represses his feelings and channels his anger into athletics and bullying others. Brian, the nerd, suffers from self-abuse (he's probably a
Typical of abuse victims, these characters abuse themselves and others, whether they mean to or not. They wouldn't be diagnosed as "bi-polar" until Prozac was invented -- the way Millennials weren't diagnosed
The only character who isn't completely fucked-up is Sheedy's "The Basketcase," who has isolated herself from all these self-important drama queens. She would later be diagnosed as Off Her Meds. That's known as "irony," and makes a point in and of itself.
But Molly Ringwald's character is an abuser, not the victim: She remains oblivious to a fault, traumatizing everyone around her through her callous behavior. People just aren't worthy of Claire's abuse, as that would be a waste of her precious time; they are forced to prove they are worth any attention, should she so deign.
She typifies this stereotype in Sixteen Candles, as well -- overlooking the well-meaning but goofy Ducky for the handsome hunk. If this sounds familiar, it's because this sort of thing happens everyday -- especially to teenagers (relax, it happened to #MeToo). Johnny Bender's character calls her out on this Holier-Than-Thou attitude and, in stereotypical fashion for girls with Daddy Issues, she falls for The Bad Boy.
Had he written a sequel starring Claire, it would have been Showgirls.
These things are not actually said aloud, so it's understandable that a Hollywood actress would miss these very relevant points -- especially if "her" character doesn't say them. Because screenwriters are only there to clean-up actors' improvisational genius -- that's what screenwriters do. That's the job.
I suppose, at this point, I should say that Caitlin Jenner is strong and beautiful.
It's all pretty ugly -- like life... especially adolescence. Like teenagers and teenagers' rooms and teenagers' cars... And an overwhelming number of people Ringwald's age identified heavily with The Breakfast Club because of this.
It's far from pleasant, but it's politically incorrect, and too often awkward (and also problematic), to discuss these very real life situations and human personalities in mixed company -- which is what makes it so refreshing to see it onscreen, or read it in a book not written by a pompous Hollywood blowhard... or an AI writing program one slaps his name on as a lazy attempt at anti-art.
John Hughes understood that regular, everyday people can be
Especially awkward, problematic people of teen age.
She claims Bender's unwarranted sexual assault in the movie is worthy of some kind of heavy-handed police action. Maybe. But Claire responds by vice-locking his longhaired head with her knees -- practiced as they are at locking -- then brutally assaults him in a fit of hysterical rage before sleeping with him. Lesson learned.
The bigger issue is that today, had Bender been
That doesn't make his behavior any less acceptable in real life but -- in a fucking movie -- it's funny. Also, in the movie, he didn't actually accost the actress. Hollywood, like the US government it represents -- The Moral Majority, as they are known -- has never been able to tell fact from fiction, so much so that they made a law allowing them to circumvent reality, and are now working to criminalize anyone who dares question what they tell you to believe.
In fact, they have suspended our Twitter accounts, and have now locked us out of our YouTube accounts without explanation!
Movies, TV, and radio were the social media of our age -- that's how the term, "Watercooler Episode" originated. We watched them in theaters with dozens of other people (hundreds, by the Multiplex '90s) , so they were seen in a communal environment, and had a larger impact than the four or five stump speeches Hollywood churns out today. Movies like The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo's Fire started discussions that never would have occurred otherwise -- discussions Millennials aren't allowed to have today, under penalty of Law.
They were actually important films, not pretenders to the throne, and the insights they presented helped close the divide between groups and people who had little, if anything, in common. These movies were what we had in common -- in many cases, just as in The Breakfast Club itself -- they were the only experiences we had in common.
They were not marketed as The Most Important Movies of Their Time, or The Most Important Shows You're Not Watching. You weren't a racistsexistmisogynistantisemitewhitenationalist for not purchasing 100,000 tickets for schoolchildren to manipulate the Box Office results. That they didn't have token Latinos, Blacks, and disabled persons of
They had also just started busing the token kids in at that time -- yet another uncomfortable truth troublemakers choose to "overlook" -- so most of us didn't have those token friends The Hollywood People and Republican Party love to cart-out at certain events like the child survivors of Syrian bombings. I went to a predominantly black elementary school, so I rarely hung-out with the black kids who thought I worshipped the Devil because I listened to Slayer -- I just bought Mexican dirt weed from them.
Yes, that is racist: I know they were holding them Dank Buds.
In those days, the Moral Majority -- those who knew best for all, because They had The Master Plan handed down from On High (ahem) -- pulled the very same shit they do today. And guess who presided over the PMRC, and the hearings on what was Right and what was wrong, and who was allowed to say what?
Manbearpig and his Goddamn wife. I swear to Christ.
Do John Hughes' movies hold-up today? Absolutely. Are they politically correct? Of course not -- neither are teenagers, and neither is real life.
Well, I'm sure Molly Ringwald's teenager is, of course -- all actors' and celebrities' children are perfect. You can tell from their mugshots.
Life, history, politics, reality -- and yes, people (especially people of teen age) -- can be ugly, and too often are. These subjects are often separatist, racist, sexist, hateful, and demoralizing to people who deserve much better. We should be emotionally and intellectually fit enough to observe these things as they are, and deal with them in that fashion. But Hollywood, and its denizens, are neither -- and are far from innocent.
So, since everyone else has a soapbox for their cause celebre, and we're certainly moments away from having our little plug pulled (assuming this ever sees the light of day to begin with), I figure #MeToo:
The Truth is that every state in the US has unisex bathrooms anyone can use, and no one stands outside to monitor who is doing so... yet.
The Truth is that the KKK has every right to their little rallies, which are always attended by more Federal officers than Klansmen, and the way to end them is to not attend them -- or promote them, or glorify them, or glorify those who protest them. Like you do Jehovah's Witnesses at the front door.
The Truth is that, if Nationalists really hated "Socialism," they'd refund all the government benefits they receive (nay, demand!) for military/defense contracts, and refuse assistance provided by programs like Medicare, SNAP, and those provided by Veterans' Affairs.
The Truth is that none of the men accused by the hostile #MeToo terrorist movement have been convicted, or even stood trial for a civil matter, yet a mere sketchy accusation is all it takes to end their careers and lives. And -- just like the worst of the accused did -- these "activists" and "social justice warriors" use force, intimidation, and a myriad of terrorist tactics to silence all dissent, and suppress any evidence contrary to their unfounded accusations ("Their Ends Justify Their Means").
The Truth is that criminalizing every word, deed, and thought has lead to mass incarceration and the demonization of innocent people who are forced to become hardened criminals just to survive the environments in which pristine celebrities like Ringwald can't wait to place them.
The Truth is that the AIPAC/CFI-sponsored "Mainstream Media" is Guilty of innumerable War Crimes, Human Rights Abuses, and Crimes Against Humanity -- including Incitement, Defamation, Assassination of Character, Mass Murder, Sedition, and High Treason -- and no mere, fabricated "Law" (NDAA) should shield them from prosecution to the fullest extent of International Law. This includes giant tech companies that dip in and out of the Media environment as it suits their purposes.
The Truth is that most of these people support harboring undocumented citizens as a form of indentured servitude, and those who have lived the majority of their lives in this country without criminal incident should be considered citizens.
The Truth is that, if celebrities and banksters want to disarm the citizenry, they should lead the way by disarming themselves, disarming their security, and employing only unarmed security at their too-posh benefit events for the Syrian children they campaign tirelessly to bomb endlessly.
The Truth is that you won't hear a single celebrity -- Sarah Silverman, Susan Sarandon, Rosario Dawson, and a handful of others aside -- say any of this. And you aren't likely to hear us saying it much longer, either...
Hearing these horrible excuses for human beings preach on nothing more than the safest bets, hopping on every speeding bandwagon that passes their way, has become sickening to the point of criminality:
I woke up the other morning to hear Gayle King say, "We can teach Hate --" and I turned off the fucking TV.
Molly Ringwald, like the (literally) drugged, (actually) brainwashed, Millennial Generation Hollywood is so desperate to get to the voter booths (but only if they vote Democrat!), should get over herself and step out of the echo chamber for a breath of fresh, L.A. smog -- and hope she doesn't get hit by one of them drive-bys! (Relax, racists, it would be an acid attack or machete strike from atop a moped, were she in London.) I doubt she sees a brown face six days of any week unless it's cleaning her house, and I doubt that fact occurs to her more than once every 40 years.
Maybe one day, these talented players of the Moral Majority will reunite and make a movie about Hollywood actors who hate the movies audiences love that made them rich and famous. Co-starring John Cusack.
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* There are over 50 sexes in the insect kingdom. Shamanism teaches you not to follow the insects, as they exist only to eat, breed, and die, and have no Higher Purpose. Bees have a hivemind and live only to serve their queen. Meditate on that shit: That's what your esteemed cult leaders think of you -- you are a means to an end, and nothing more. They are Defense Contractors, by the way.
© The Weirding, 2018
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