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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Silent Hill - What a Piece of Crap

Yes, I'm back. Between Thanksgiving and writing elsewhere, I've been busy. But today, it's all about the fun. :D

Normally when I watch movies, I keep watching them, no matter how bad they are. Or, rather, I let them run. Sometimes I get on my computer and forget that it's going. I just don't stop them. Especially if I paid for them. The cheapskate in me has to let that movie play.

Not today. Today, I watched Silent Hill. It wasn't that it was too scary. It's that I got ahold of a bad copy and it wasn't a good enough movie to justify complaining about to anyone. Except you guys. Don't you feel special?

It started with a little girl who was standing by a cliff she almost fell off of. That causes the mom to panic and pile her into their SUV, and drive for Silent Hill. Why? Because the girl came from the same state.

Huh???

This news unnerves the dad so much that he cancels the credit cards. (Calm down, that wasn't supposed to be the scary part... even though canceled credit cards give me the shivers.) The mom evades the police and finds her daughter missing, and herself trapped in Silent Hill. In Silent Hill, it goes from night to dark with alarming speed. Also, the locals aren't too friendly (but it's a horror movie, so that's to be expected).

Every now and then, we're given a clue about the people's story. It seems the daughter is adopted and sleepwalks. Silent Hill had a fire. Yada, yada. It's nice that they don't spell everything out but the crappy writing doesn't spell ANYTHING out. It's a horror movie based on a video game, so exactly how intelligent did they expect the audience to be??

About the time some beastie came down the hallway and the mom stood there shining a flashlight at it looking scared, yet not hauling ass, I decided they had insulted my intelligence long enough. Sadly, the thing that drove home that idea is that I started wondering how they got such a muscular male gymnast that could bend his legs that far behind his head in full body makeup. I took gymnastics and my teacher wasn't that built, although he was that flexible, and WAY hotter. Ahem! ANYWAY, I decided that I shouldn't be thinking of the hot gymnastics teacher during what was supposed to be the scariest scene so far. So I bailed.

I have no regrets.

5 comments:

Mayren said...

I concurr. Silent Hill sucked a$$.

Manodogs said...

I figured as much. They had a big marketing campaign for it, then I heard nothing else about it after it was released -- not a real good sign.

But let me just say, in the protagonist's defense, that although I don't have children, it seems reasonable that should one get hurt, I would load them into the SUV and carry them IMMEDIATELY to the state in which they were born. And also that, as a housewife, I would need an SUV. Just in case of such intrastate events, of course.

IntricateGirl said...

The daughter wasn't hurt. She just fell down near a cliff. If I've gotta drive them to their birth state every single time they fall down, I'm going to need a few more hours in the day. (And because I am resolutely against more hours in the day- fuhgedaboudit!)

But the SUV thing is kinda true. I don't have one because I balk at selling that last little bit of my soul. lol

Mayren said...

your not selling your soul to buy an SUV if it's the Infinity FX. That's just a sweet car.

:P

Manodogs said...

Fetch me my boxing gloves...