Thanks Marvel Comics

A POST 15 YEARS IN THE MAKING

I have finally figured out what Marvel is up to, and I have to thank them:

By lowering the overall quality of each issue while simultaneously raising the price, they are weening us off of Marvel comic books! It’s exactly what the government is doing with cigarettes: By continuing to raise the price without removing any of the harmful additives, they are making it harder for us to afford cigarettes, yet keeping them just as dangerous when we do. This way, the government figures, we will either die or go broke, and we can't ask for a bailout because we did it to ourselves and got what we deserve.

Marvel is simply making the point that, at 35, I don’t need to be reading Marvel Comics; I need to be buying cigarettes!

Wait.

I mean, they are telling me I need to be saving that money for when cigarettes cost $10 a pack, instead of $5.00! Dammit.

Marvel is making comic books cost more so that we stop buying them. Then they can fill them with nefarious messages about blindly following the orders of mice and goofy dogs and get those messages out to the youth, where they belong. Kids should be reading comic books, Marvel is saying, not adults, and kids don’t care how well they are written or drawn, because... well, because they’re KIDS!

So, thank you Marvel! I was all lost there, thinking you didn't know what you were doing and were just ripping me off to fill your coffers so you could make more mediocre movies, while all along, you had my best interests in mind!

Make Mine Not Marvel!

(Wink; thanks again! Sorry for all those "shitheels" and "hacks" comments! No hard feelings? I realize that, just because I grew-up with these characters, it doesn't make them any less the lucrative corporate properties they always were, and the more I fret over what you are doing to them, the unhappier I will be. So I will stop buying Marvel Comics and let you get back to tanking the industry once again! Now get back to those drawing boards and turn out some product, you effing shitheel hacks!)

© C Harris Lynn, 2010