Paris Reads - With Apologies to Cerebus

Paris Hilton left her house the other day, clearly carrying two religious books. One was the Holy Bible and the other was something about living with porpoises or something to that effect. Everyone else is making a big deal about the fact that the pictures were obviously staged and how Paris is "working the public" and so forth, but here to The Rundown, we like to keep our eye on The Bigger Picture, and we want to make sure to point out the real news here:

Apparently, Paris Hilton can read.

Yeah! Go figure.

Now, we couldn't confirm this, as the pictures obviously were staged, so Paris may have thought she was holding a baby. Or a burger. Or anything that starts with a "B." Or an "M." Or maybe a "Q." At any rate, she was told to carry these "books" outside of her house and make sure the titles were clearly visible to photographers, but it was pretty bizarre to see the heiress-cum-porn-star carrying books.