LABOR Day Weekend

So, let's Rundown my August:

I was picked-up by the corrupt, Decatur County, TN sheriffs on Friday, August 15^th because I had "missed a court appearance." However, no one knew when said court appearance had been scheduled. They managed to "find out" once I was before the judge himself, but prior to that, everyone contacted claimed they "could not locate the file" - including my probation officer and the County Clerk's Office (Danny Tanner).

Once out, I was here, cooking supper on Tuesday, the 27^th, when one of the dudes (a Phillip Sparks) who had been in the cell with me in jail popped-up on my door, asking to borrow some money for beer. Within an hour or so, the corrupt Decatur County, TN sheriff's office was knocking on my door, claiming they'd had a report of a "disturbance." The offending responding officer claimed the music was not too loud and he could not describe said "disturbance." He shined his flashlight in the house and said, "Hey, Phil!"

The following morning, Phillip Sparks appeared yet again - this time at 7:30 in the AM - once again asking money for beer. He was already drunk and drinking a 2x4. I told him I had no money and he got a mad look but unless he was going to suck beer out of my a true miracle of mammon was to occur, there was nothing I could do about this and he was free to be just as mad as he wished. He then asked to use the restroom.

When he came out, he took off his shoes to put on some foot powder he had obviously found in there. I thought nothing of any of this. He said he was going to ask someone for a ride to get some beer and I went back to sleep.

When I got up around 10-10:30am, I was preparing to check the mail when I could not locate my shoes. I looked everywhere and it was not until I tripped over his shoes that the thought struck me: he might have taken my shoes! Of course, being a decent person who was raised with a modicum of respect for others (ergo, not having been raised in Decatur County, TN), I really did not believe this to be the case. It was not until I had completely searched the entire house that I came to the definite conclusion that, yes, he had in fact stolen my shoes!

I managed to get the phone number of one of his relatives and she said in no uncertain terms to call the law. While I laughed with the corrupt, Decatur County, TN officers over the incident, I was only half-amused. They said a cop would come to take a report and I told my company I did not believe he would. No police officer ever came to file a report for Phillip Sparks stealing my shoes.

On Wednesday afternoon, I began to drink.

I continued to drink Thursday because I was already halfway drunk. Then my kinda "girlfriend"-type showed-up and I had to find money to pay her ride. She was here all of maybe five minutes when some dude she's been messing around with (like I said, this is a very casual thing and he is not a bad guy) called and came over. We all got drunk and then they left way, way late (in fact, I had already fallen asleep).

Yesterday, I laid around all day because I was hungover and didn't feel like doing anything. At all.

So, my Labor Day Weekend will consist of actual Labor. All weekend.

For the rest of my year - for my health, my sanity - I beseech of thee: if you are a Christian, pray for me. If you are some kind of pagan, light a candle or burn some incense, or cut yourself or whatever - for me. If you are a hippy, TAKE A BATH, YOU DAMN, DIRTY HIPPY!

Whatever it is, however you do it, please - by all you hold Holy - ask your deity to smile on me, as someone's deity has taken a giant poo all over my 2008.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008