Cut the Crap, Comic Books

Last time I'm going to say this (I sincerely doubt the veracity of that statement, just so you know I'm not completely delusional):

Cut the bullshit, comic book publishers, and just entertain me.

I'm not buying a bunch of new #1 comic books (actually, I am, but we'll get to that ); I'm not buying three and four copies of the same comic book just to get all the various covers; if I miss-out on the first-printing of a comic book I really wanted because you intentionally underprinted it to ensure a second-printing run, then I'll swallow my completist impulse and buy the later printing... and, worst of all, I'll expect to still be disappointed in the product I purchase, no matter what.

I've said it often enough, I've said it loudly enough, and I've said it forcefully enough; now I'm saying it with my wallet. The amount I spend on comic books has dropped over 50% since this time last year and is going down even further in coming months, as I drop title after meaningless filler title to focus on the half-dozen or so titles I actually care about. I no longer care that I'm only getting parts 1 and 3 of whatever it is I want to read; I'll just miss that story and pitch those comics into the box without ever reading them - after all, I'm only collecting them. They aren't worth reading, anyway.

In fact, I'm about a year behind on every title I read at this point. I just don't care to read them, because they upset me. When I start reading a comic only to find out I'm reading the third chapter of a longer story, and that I need to buy at least two other comics to get the first part, plus six or seven more issues (of titles I don't normally collect and care nothing about) to get the rest of that story, I want to chuck that comic book across the room, walk over to where it lands, and piss on it. And that's only one of the issues I have with today's comics.

The only reason I'm buying so many #1 issues now is because I was already subscribing to the title under its original run. I admit I bought a few just for collectors' value, but I sincerely doubt they'll ever be worth much - especially since publishers have intentionally devalued the backmarket to make way for reprints and TPB so they can collect royalties, driving comic book store after comics shop out of business.

So I'm done crying over spilled milk - which, by the way, better not spill within 150' of any comic book published in the last three years or so, because it will crumple those puppies up like cellophane!

Cut the bullshit; drop the gimmicks and make comic books that entertain me and I'll start buying them again. Meanwhile, $50.00 doesn't go far these days, but it goes a lot further on basically anything else than it does on comic books.

© C Harris Lynn, 2011