It's Official

So I'm checking my e-mail today when I see it. It was just setting there, mocking me. The subject line read:

Girls don't like you because you have a little dick.

I chortled and started to delete it when I took a look at the sender. It was a doctor - Dr. Someone Something, I don't remember - a doctor, y'all. A chill walked slowly down my spine.

With all the spam we receive in our e-mail boxes daily (112 this mail run), it heartens me to know that at least one doctor is taking the time out of his busy schedule to tell it to me like it is.

I'm often hard on the medical, scientific, pharmaceutical, scientific, pornographic, entertainment, sequential art, black American, and white American communities - and for good reason - so it really makes me stop to think about my position on these things when an honest-to-goodness medical professional takes a pro-active stance and steps-up to fight the good fight.

My name is MD, and girls don't like me because I have a little dick.

I guess it sometimes takes a professional who isn't afraid of a little backlash to put things in perspective for us.

Thank you, Dr. Someone Something - thank you for this very private, unsolicited e-mail, and all the pills you suggested that can help me with my problem.

And thank you, Internet. I do want to slim down! I do want to stop smoking! I do want to drive my women crazy with s'ex_ual desire! And I would have no idea how to do it, were it not for the thousands of bulk e-mails I receive weekly, which lead me to just the right sites, filled with Google AdSense boxes full of information on where to start a blog and how to buy penny stocks. Who woulda thunk such things can make me have a bigger dick and lose weight?

Here's to progress: