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Saturday, September 27, 2008

Lindsay Gets Restraining Order on Dad

According to sources, Lindsay Lohan has spoken with her lawyer about getting a restraining order against dear old Dad, Michael. Apparently, both sister, Ali, and Mom, Dinah, have orders of protection against him, as well.

In correspondence with Page Six, Lindsay told them her dad "needed to be on medication." Now, the tabloid quotes a source as having said, "He's behaving so erratically that she's terrified he'll do something to her."

I know it needn't be said, but this girl is no longer a "hot mess," she's a freaking nightmare!

The sad truth is that the Lohans are just pure white trash. There is nothing all that special about Lindsay Lohan: she's moderately attractive, moderately talented, and completely self-absorbed. Her mother, with her kid-sister in tow, rode her coattails into what passes for "fame" these days and her dad is like a rabid dog. And instead of doing the intelligent thing and distancing herself from this entire trainwreck, she's conducting the train!

This is the kind of thing I have been saying for years: when you really want to do something, be somebody, make something of yourself, you have to burn some bridges along the way. I have seen pictures of Lindsay where I thought she was beautiful, but by and large, she's a plain Jane; I have watched scenes where I thought she gave a stand-out performance, but by and large, she's a so-so actress. She had the chance to do what a million other girls dream of doing and she blew it bigger than shit. Not only did she party herself out of a career and allow her horrible, opportunistic, completely classless family to make a total mockery of her life, she's busy collecting loser "friends" along the way - as if this ship weren't sinking fast enough!

And somewhere, somehow, you just know she is justifying all of this as "publicity" and convincing herself that the rest of us just don't understand. I can see her in my mind's eye, bleary-eyed on coke and booze, screaming, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

Oh wait, I saw that on Entertainment Tonight.

I truly believe Lindsay is the eye of her own storm: she's the very center around which all of this revolves and she can't see the damage from there. She is the only one of her entire tabloid running crew that has ever actually done anything and she's too damned stupid to put her foot down and send those freeloaders packing! While Sam and Dinah and Michael and Ali and blahblahblah are all busy trying to spin what's left of her notoriety into their own careers (doing what!?), she's just spun completely out of control.

And while everyone and their brother tried their best to generate at least a little public sympathy for her ("because she really is talented"), she continued to lash-out, act-out, and flaunt her juvenile attitude in an attempt to prove her "badassery."

Yeah, Lindsay Lohan, you really are a "star."

Whatever else comes of this, I wish this much: the rest of us conclude that this is not the Hollywood we want to see - this is the very nadir of the whole manufactured star-power the tabloids generate. This is reality TV on the big screen: a bunch of nobodies manufacturing drama just to be noticed - just so someone will watch and talk about them.

If this were happening next door instead of on Page Six, you would be calling the cops every, single night.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

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