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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Beverly Hills, 9818783


What can I say? In for a penny, in for a pound; I've been waiting all day for new Paris news because I just can't help it. I'm hooked; it's some inexplicable medical condition I can't explain.

Paris' agent has signed-off on the celebrity. This was apparently done in a corporate-wide e-mail last Friday when the whole fit hit the shan. Sheriff Lee Baca - no relation to Chewie - is being forced to write a report, detailing why he felt Paris Hilton should have been released early against the judge's express wishes. Obviously, this has left a hole as big as... well, a big hole in the system, allowing pretty much any Left-wing radical to file a lawsuit, claiming their client has the same or similar "medical issues," and no less than the race-baiting hatemongerer and demagogue, Al Sharpton, and professional dipshit, Gloria Allred have stepped up to the plate.

Though, I have to admit that Allred's claim at least has some merit, as her client was disallowed the use of her prosthetic leg! Of course, it could obviously be used as a weapon, but still.

Baca really fouled this one up and now, questions of Hilton-affiliated contributions fueling his decision to release her early have surfaced - but then, that was really at the center of this whole thing to begin with, wasn't it?

Anyway, Paris, if you're reading this on your Blackberry? I don't even care how you got it in there - I won't ask - just please say something quotable soon! You are my air.


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