One of Those

This is One of Those Days.

It's a perfect 71º outside. The sun is shining brightly and fluffy clouds float by while the neighborhood dog cavorts about, looking for a petting from anyone who doesn't immediately dismiss her. Earlier, all the children were outside, but (thankfully), one of the neighbors took them all into the "city" to do something (which is only barely an actual city and just became one in the last 10-15 years) - about an hour's drive away, which gives you a better idea of just how far away from civilization I live. So it's quiet, calm, peaceful, warm, and wonderful.

My neck hurts, but it isn't hurting, and the knot on my wrist is still there, though also not actively, piercingly, aching. In general, I can do the things I need to do - and have only barely been able to do most of this week, due to pain - but it's One of Those Days.

One of Those Days where no matter what I start to do, no matter what I feel like doing, I just can't seem to stay focused on it long enough to finish it. I posted a few items here and there, but I had to really force myself to do it. I have an entire sinkful of dirty dishes that have been there all week long and I just can't see myself fooling with them. I have two books to do advance reviews on and both are scheduled for release in the next two weeks, but I can only read a few pages at a time.

I don't know if it's the weather that's summoning me to get up and get out of the house (even though I am doing neither) or the "shock" of not hurting (since my injured neck hurts constantly, it leads to all sorts of pains and aches all over my body, as I instinctively - and rather involuntarily - try to compensate for it by twisting in all manners, shifting my weight, holding my head to the side, etc., and on the days it doesn't actively hurt, I'm usually at a loss for anything to do because I actually miss dealing with the pain; coping with either the pain or the side-effects of the pain medication has become a habit - a routine that, when I'm not going through it, throws my entire day out of wack), but something just will not let me sit still and focus on anything and it's driving me apeshit!

The worst thing about all of this is that it's not much unlike the days when the pain is so bad that I can't concentrate: I am constantly going through a mental checklist of everything I should be doing - need to be doing - and that makes me nervous and upset. But when I get up and start doing these things, I just can't concentrate enough to finish them, which compounds the anxiety. It's days like this, where I really don't need to take my pain medication, that I hate specifically because I have to take my pain medication just to "even-out."

You know, I'm going to print this out and carry it to the doctor's for inclusion in my file. I am also about to go on a little tirade over on The OddBlog on this very situation, because it fits better over there. I'll come back and post the link in the Comments when I'm done.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008